Stuck In The Middle
by shadoweddawn
Summary: "She replayed the moments of their friendship, the subtle times she thought they were on the same page." The distance between them has become unbearable for Beckett when stuck in an elevator with Castle. Post Undead, Again with a twist.


I own nothing, except the words below. Thank you Mr. Marlowe and company for these characters. Prompt at the bottom. Thank you for your time in reading, reviews and thoughts are always appreciated.

For Evan, who is one of the bravest people I know. You're a warrior. Your encouragement and support has been life changing. You are a true treasure on this planet, and I am forever grateful for your friendship.

* * *

How could silence be so loud?

The question had become a familiar one to Beckett. Three weeks with barely any communication with her partner had Beckett's usual confidence shattered, her mind scrambling for answers that could have changed their dynamics this much.

Beckett pressed against the wall of the elevator as the door slide shut, her eyes glued on Castle's broad back. Her partner stood, despite their victory of catching Tom Jennings, distant. He'd gotten a call from Jacinda delaying their plans, so he had hung around the precinct longer than necessary, only to catch the elevator down with Beckett.

She hated the pain that settled her stomach at the thought of how much she missed him. Harsh memories of the early days of their partnership assaulted her. When she enjoyed tormenting him by withholding information. When she couldn't wait for their partnership to be over. Those days had been few, if Beckett were honest. Castle had proven himself quickly, claiming a space in the precinct and in her heart long before Castle starting digging into her mother's murder.

Her sigh escapes without conscious thought as the elevator starts again after a moment's stop on level 10, the subtle turn of Castle's head the only sign that he heard. _Or cared._

She replayed the moments of their friendship, the subtle times she thought they were on the same page. She pushes herself to remember the shooting, the weight of his body covering hers as he pressed strong hands to the wound at her chest. She'd been fighting like hell to get back to that point, where she could accept he'd almost jumped in front of a bullet for her. Where she could be worth what he felt was important enough to tell her as she lay dying in his arms.

What had she done to get him to walk away from that?

She chanced a glance at the numbers illuminated, taking a chance as the number flashed 7 at the top of the lift. She had to make time.

The emptiness between them was too much. She had to ask. She had to have him back with her.  
 _  
_"Castle, what happened?"

The silence stretched, Beckett's heart hammering against her ribs the only sound thundering in her ears. She's not exactly sure she wants to know the answer now as his shoulders drop, his voice curt as he answered simply

"No idea what you're talking about."

Beckett narrowed her eyes, anger flaring in her veins at his aloofness. She pushed away from the wall and moved to stand in front of him, her eyes trained on Castle's. The ice blue gaze that seemed to always see straight through her façade now skirted away immediately, cutting her to the core.

 _He's supposed to be on my team._

The words from her session with Dr. Burke now mocked her. She'd kept quiet about her therapy sessions, intent to work through the idea of taking a step back from her mother's murder, allowing herself to be more than who she has been for this man who has been so patient for her.

Whose patience had apparently run out.

"Look, if this is about Colin, I'm sorry. I am. I didn't want him on our team any more than you did but Captain Gates sa-."

Castle flinched at the name of their recent visitor, leaning away from her as his eyes blazed. She stood her ground at the petty scoff that echoed around them, Castle shaking his head furiously as he muttered

"This isn't about Scotland Yard, Beckett."

Exasperation and hurt feelings fueled her anger. She steps closer into the shell of his body, noticing (not for the first time,) how exceptionally tall he is as she stare up into his stormy gaze.

"Then what the hell is this about? What happened? What did I do to deserve you bringing Jacinda around _my_ precinct? And then have you working with Slaughter? You hate me that much?"

She saw the words hit their mark, Castle's eyes narrowing her indignation. He shoved a hand through his hair and shook his head, his voice rising to match hers. _Good, at least a reaction,_ she thought with a frown.

"Don't act like you don't know, Beckett. I heard you."

The words are punctuated with resentment. She opened her mouth to question, to force the hand Castle was determined to keep hidden away, but the sudden jolting of the elevator stopped her. She fell forward as the lift halted, apologizing immediately as Castle's arms caught her biceps.

"I'm sorry I…"

His fingers move to her wrists as she regains her balance, holding her upright as the emergency lights flickered on. She questions briefly if she would have been able to stand on her own, the nearness of him too much for her tattered heart, even as her cop instinct took over to assess the situation. The concern in his azure gaze shone briefly as he whispered into the miniscule space between them, her pulse jumping beneath his warm hands at the tenderness.

"I uh…I think we're stuck."

Beckett turned to look over her shoulder, not ready to move away from his touch despite the tension that radiated around them. The alarm bell sounded a few floors above them, both of them releasing a breath as he Castle squeezed her writs gently, bringing her mind back to him.

"Are you okay?"  
"No, I'm not."

The truth escaped before she had a chance to guard it, her cheeks flaming with her brutal honesty and embarrassment. Castle's eyes widened at her bluntness, releasing her arms as if burned by her statement. She runs her thumb along her left wrist as she continues, pleading with him.

"Will you please just talk to me?"  
"Here let me call…"

She shoots down his idea to call for help in favor of questioning her partner.

"Castle just tell me."  
"Now isn't the time, Beckett."  
"Now seems to be the only time, since we're stuck together anyways. Just tell me how to fix this. Please."

The ache in her voice was unmistakable. She stood her ground despite the heat tinting her cheeks pink, the simple request sounding more like a desperate beg to her ears. Castle took a step towards her as he dropped his phone back in his pocket, his voice calm despite the quiet fury she had come to recognize in her partner.

"Why didn't you just tell me you didn't feel the same way?"  
"What same way?"

His eyes widened as she stood her ground, her voice shaking despite the confidence she tried to carry. She ignored the stab of confusion, the unexpected question rattling her. Beckett's teeth bit into her bottom lip as she waited him out, the alarm drowning out the growing stillness between them.

She ached to touch his shoulders as they hunch over, as if the weight of the world is crashing down on him. Castle's breath whispered across her forehead as he admitted painfully, his voice cracking with emotion.

"The bombing case. You were interrogating the suspect, who said he didn't remember."

Beckett nodded, memories from that day flashing through her mind taking the place of the alarm still sounding around them.

She'd come out of the box to a cold coffee cup and her partner mysteriously absent. She'd questioned Ryan and Esposito, even searching the precinct for him. When he'd finally come back after a lengthy lunch, eyes bloodshot and unusually quiet, Beckett had blamed the stress of the case. Now, she scrunched her nose as she nodded her remembrance.

"Okay. Yeah, I remember."  
"I was behind the glass."

She narrowed her eyes, her mind still playing catch up with his memories. As the truth slams into her, Beckett says the words before he could

"You said…"  
"I said I remember everything."

Castle rocked back on his heels as he nods once, clearing his throat to rid it of any emotion before saying passively, the hurt evident despite his act.

"I get it, okay. You knew how I felt, you remember me telling you at the cemetery that day and you just didn't want to ruin anything between us. And I thought I would have been able to accept it, you know. I would have been okay hearing you don't love me back. But…I can't. I can't handle loving you and knowing you don't, Kate."

She recoils at the force of his words, eyes widening with surprise at the bluntness. _I can't handle loving you and knowing that you don't._ She tried in vain to recall anything he said that fateful day, those few moments before the world went black. All she remembers is his fear in his eyes, and how she would do anything to erase it.

"You think I don't…wait, that's what you said that day? That you loved me?"  
"Damn it, Beckett. You told that jackass suspect that you remembered everything and yet you're still lying to me?"

The lament in his voice is pitiful, too much for her shattered heart. _He loves me._ The words beat like a drum in her mind as Beckett shakes her head, crowding into his space without conscious thought. He recoils at her nearness, hurt slicing through Beckett at the motion. A deep seeded need to have the truth explained forced the words from her.

"Castle, that…that was an interrogation tactic. That's all. We needed him to talk. Espo and I decided to try, to just see if we could get him to admit it. That's it, Castle. I really…I really don't remember-"

"You really expect me to believe that?"  
"It's the truth!"

She shoves a hand through her hair, the truth barreling down upon her. His silence cut through her disordered haze. Over the sound of his harsh breathing at their reality now surrounding them, Beckett can hear the calming voices of people a few floors above them. Words of comfort flitted through the enclosed space, giving them both a second to collect their thoughts. Beckett was grateful for the quick interruption, taking the extra second to push a strand of hair behind her ear even as she warred within herself. _I can't lose him, not like this. Not with him thinking I don't care._

No wonder he'd been parading the stewardess around. She'd practically deserved it. Beckett dropped her arms from across her chest, slender fingers finding his hand and squeezing gently as she admitted, green eyes beseeching.

"Castle I…I'm sorry. I really don't remember my shooting. I promise you. You have to believe me. I have nothing to hide, right? Not anymore. You just told me that's what you said that day. What purpose do I have to lie about it now?"

She sees the truth starting to break the storm in his gaze, hesitation giving way to hope right before her. She continues, the words she had kept hidden for so long now tumbling from her freely.

"I…I remember you tackling me to the ground after the shot. And the feel of your hands against my chest trying to stop the blood before it all went black. I all I could think was I was going to die. I don't remember anything else, Castle. I don't."

He nods at her admittance, relief flooding the detective as Castle took a step towards her and brought her smaller frame into the shelter of his.

"Why didn't you ever ask, Beckett? If you remember me trying to save you? I would have told you I loved you then, I would have told you a hundred times if I knew you felt…"

She swallows the fear that had plagued her for months, clinging to the Castle's presence to keep her grounded. She lets his love for heart still her racing heart as she admits, for once unashamed of the weakness she still sometimes felt.

"Remember that therapist I mentioned? At the time it seemed like the best idea to try and put it behind me, unless in a control environment. I have PTSD. And I'm still struggling with it. And I just needed to find my place to make my stand at the time. And after never talking about it I can't blame you for assuming after hearing that. I'm sorry, Castle."

The apology is immediate, needing to sooth the wounds she had caused. Caste stilled at the words, a flicker of recognition shining in his gaze before he whispered the words she had longed to hear into her hair. She buried her face in his shirt as Castle's fingers press into the dips at her waist, keeping her close.

"I'm….god, I'm so sorry, Beckett. I've been…I'm just really sorry."

She shakes off his apology with a hand on his back, keeping his attention on her. A tight smile escapes her as Beckett continued, pushing through the communication issues that had plagued their partnership for years. _No more_.

"That day at the swings I told you I couldn't be in the kind of relationship I wanted until I put this thing to rest. I didn't give you much of a chance to question the shooting, Castle. I needed to try and move past that day. You deserved that. And I wanted to be that woman. For you. For us."

Beckett ignores the voices that are getting louder outside the stopped car as she steps into the warmth of his body. Her fingers skim his stubbled jaw before she rose up on her toes, her breath mixing with his as she whispered, needing to say the words he so desperately said almost a year ago

"I love you, Castle."

She barely gives the surprise a chance to settle in before she kisses him. She's soft at first, her lips barely grazing his as she presses herself more solidly against him, moaning appreciatively against his lips as his hands find purchase on her hips and rock into her. She slides her tongue along the seam of his lips, delighting as he grants her access. Strong fingers slide under her loose top, has Kate skimming her lips along his throat as his name falls like a prayer from her lips.

"I love you, Kate."

She steals the words before he can say them again, letting them fill the emptiness around them as she tastes him again. She craves him, her fingers desperate for any skin she can find to make sure this is real, that they are finally on the same page and willing to dive in together.

 _Finally_.

The universe once again determining their fate for the afternoon causes them to jerk apart as the elevator dings, the descending car drawing a groan from both of them. Beckett skims her fingers along his ear as he quiets her frustration with another kiss, an apology and a promise all at once.

"How about we continue this conversation at your place? I think we've got some more…talking to do."

Castle's grin is infectious as the elevator doors open, his fingers sliding between hers and squeezing her digits as she nods and mirror his smile, the two of them stepping out into the sunshine together. She's still beaming as he falls into step beside her.

* * *

Prompt: Castle and Beckett get stuck in an elevator after a fight, post 47 Seconds. Combined with the prompt that Beckett doesn't remember Castle saying he loves her after her shooting.


End file.
